Marked: Blue Dot Mystery Part ii

One sign of getting older is the excitement one gets purchasing new yard equipment. Definitely a sure sign. Ridiculous. Last week, I bought a brand new lawn mower from Sears. Craftsman, baby. No doubt, the neighbors are happy since the yard had become much of an eyesore during my time off tending to a new baby.

Today, I finally got to use my new Craftsman. First project was the alley. As you may recall from a previous post, there was some question about gang activity and blue dots from our neighborhood alley. You may also recall I had some reservations about said gang activity. [at this point, I'd grumble under my voice "Bullsh*t" like adolescent kids do in class] Hence, I conducted my own investigation on foot while cleaning my part of the alley. This is my conclusion:

Indeed, there is gang activity. A number of the fences have been marked with the blue dot, including mine. Pulling out my magnifying glass, I was able to determine the blue marking was made by an individual not accustomed to graffiti work. Perhaps a new gang member or a very hurried gang member from the mass number of dots up and down the alley. Also, I determined my dot was directly above our water manhole, as I later discovered all of the others. With this said, I theorize the intention of the gang maybe to infiltrate our home by means of our water lines. Interesting. One problem, however, underneath the manhole lies only the main water turn off. There is no pipe leading beneath our home or even under the fence line. Again, I theorize, perhaps the gang plans to shut off our water line forcing us to vacate the house for water, and then at that point in time gain access to our house and steal everything inside. Amazing tactic.

To conclude, this gang is highly organized. They mark fences with a "blue" dot to indicate water main shutoff. This gang has operated for years. They are all over the United States and are funded by everyday citizens like me and you. Some call them the "City"; others call them the "Water Man". Whatever you do, keep all doors and windows locked. Who knows when this mass plot will occur.

So, there you have it. Just as I thought, nothing. I saw the college boys outside while mowing the front lawn. Part of me wanted to say something. Maybe poke fun or laugh, but I couldn't. I couldn't do that. Why?? Because in a couple weeks after they've had another aggravating party with that loud laughing demon friend of theirs, simply out of spite I plan to break into their home and steal everything.