Although there was a hint of anticipation in the air, like a strange religious freak at the front door, I refused to let it in. Foolishly last year, I allowed the bastard to steal precise time from my life, consuming an hour here, and then another here and another. Before knowing better, nearly half a day was devoured by this beast. I vowed never to fall victim to the allure and appeal ever again.
Following the first week, I remained strong. It meant nothing to me. Nothing. I did not care. Then, this past Tuesday night, half paying attention to my surfing skills, I fell into the trap:
MTV's "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 2"
Why, oh, why do I watch this crap?
For the smart ones reading this who keep their televisions from displaying this horrid nonsense, "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" is a "reality" show (notice the quotations) on the MTV featuring internet star Tila Tequila in a modern day dating game. To be quite honest, I have the internet, I have it for some time, but I cannot recall a time in my internet-having life when I stumbled across Miss Tequila on any webpage. Her sudden rise to stardom baffles me. Whether she has any talents or skills other than wearing hot pants or extremely short shorts plus a bikini top has yet to be determined. Also, considering her internet stardom, I must deduce many people surf the web with very poor quality monitors. Mega-pixel or not, I do not find her very attractive.
Do not let me stop there as this modern day dating game has a twist:
See, our friend Tila has a personal conflict: She cannot decide if she like boys, or if she like girls? To solve that problem, MTV has thrown together a fine assortment of men and women for Tila to get to closely screen and get to know over a period of weeks, eliminating one would-be lover each week for our viewing pleasure. By closely screening, Tila makes them participate in events such as eating bugs and grotesque foods, washing and then drying vehicles with their bodies, and, my favorite, enjoying one-on-one time with Tila inside a giant wine glass while she makes out with one person while the other watches---then in most cases Tila will make out with the second. In simply terms, the show is a train wreck. Yet, I watch every Tuesday night followed by the recap show with that week's disgraced, kicked to the curb, broken hearted loser.
Again, I reiterate MTV and Tila stole part of my life last season as this begins the second attempt to unite Tila with her Prince/Princess Charming. Obviously last year's decision didn't take with Tila. His name was Bobby. Despite his goofiness, he managed to squeak past a really butch lesbian chick. Wait, was his name Bobby or was hers? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Deep inside I chose to believe it was love which caused Tila to hand her heart to this young man - but in all honesty he probably won because his competition looked too much like a man and giving the choice Tila opted for the real male since he actually had the working parts, if you know what I'm saying. Months later, I read an article---yes, sadly, I've researched the aftermath of season one---that MTV never provided the winning lover with any of Tila's contact information. Basically, his staged smooch at the reunion not only ended the season, but evidently shut the door on the relationship. Poor dude. Man, almost makes the whole thing seem like a televised scam, huh? Yet, here I am this season watching again.
Following the tension filled moments of its predecessor, this season is starting with a bang. All the boys are idiots; and two of the girls were already thrown out because they made out behind Tila's back. How dare they - Tila is in this for love! She was pissed too. It may have been the first time she strayed from her patented "Your shot of love has ended" to "Get the F out of my house" when dismissing suitors. Still, there are plenty left to choose. Tila is not lacking high quality individuals. In fact, I am amazed how perfectly casted, er, I mean, compatible each individual is with Tila. If I were her---and thank goodness such is not the case because she has a tough life minus love and romance---I'd want the same wonderful people competing for my affection. Like all the binge drinkers and mentally unstable, those would be the ones I'd definitely dream about spending the rest of my life. Poor Tila.
Tuesday eve was episode two of this wild and crazy adventure. I watched, and then watched the previews for next week. In the back of my mind I entertained thoughts of setting the TiVo on season pass. Dear me. MTV was better when it actually showed music videos. At least I could push myself away when Genesis "Land of Confusion" played. Those dolls freaked me out more than Tila.
